so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
