i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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