SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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