i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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