every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dick very happy bro
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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