i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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