And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
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He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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