yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I've blown a few things in my day
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
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shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
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there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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