Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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