My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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