is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
