Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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