What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
