I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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