"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
