if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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