He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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