My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
