OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
