how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
