My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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