You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
