wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i drank out of a bidet.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
