Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Randomize
