My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
