we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
