You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
