Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
