I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
