K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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