Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize