I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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