I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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