Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize