Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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