dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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