oh fat girl friday strikes again...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
