You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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