you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
