he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
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What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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