My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
