Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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