He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize