you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
