just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
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Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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