This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
