You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
