all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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