I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
ttyl tear gas
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
