all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
