Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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