Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He shit in the fireplace
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize