Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
