the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
