apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You ruined the universe
Randomize
