we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just cropdusted the office
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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