Moan for me like Helen Keller
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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