mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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