We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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