Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
