well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
