I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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