this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
