Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
