Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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