Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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