My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
