Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
