I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
